Once upon a time I fell into an Alternate Universe
by Empress T'Pau
Summary: The account of a girl and how she ends up in the Potter universe,because of Molly Weasley. There she encounters Snape and Harry...insanity commences...


Disclaimer: I own absolutely nothing! I don't make money; I don't get allowance, I don't have a job, I am sad so there is no point in suing me cuz I am dirt poor.

Authors note: Hey everybody!! I haven't posted in such a long time...jeeze... i'll try to update my stuuf as soon as i can, in the meanwhile, read this it is based on a true story...mostly...reda it carefully or you'll miss out on the funny stuff.!!

Dedication: My English Teacher Ms. Shaffer

Jump in what are you waiting for?!

Just a Day in Maija's life.

Within the normal universe in which most of the normal people live their normal lives wasting their normal life's spans there lives an abnormal girl with a rather abnormal testimony to another world much more abnormal then the one we are all in. She is currently sitting now in her classroom waiting for her moment when she can write what she experienced…

" All right kids, listen up I need you all to write an essay about a life changing experience you had. Don't wine!!!" Ms. Shaffer told her very rowdy students. They all made faces at her, detesting the entire idea. However, she continued despite their blatant dislike of the assignment. " You have till next Monday to turn it in so start writing."

The students all moaned and went straight to their backpacks to pull out their pieces of papers and pens and pencils. However, there was one student who didn't mind the assignment. In fact she was quite grateful that it was assigned because she would be able to finally tell what had happened to her. The girl got out her pen and with a quick glance at her peers began to write about her experience even if afterwards she would be deemed mentally ill….

Maija (last name withheld)

December 5 2001

English 3

My life Experience Aka: I have gone insane Go get help.

So yeah there I was, minding my own business when BAM! I find myself in an alternate universe…now this is not the first time it's happened to me, but out of all of them this one was strange. This one really took the cake; let me tell you what happened…

It was a lovely autumn day the air was crisp the sky was aquamarine and all that cliché stuff. Anyways as I was shopping around at Vons with my very pregnant mother, when I saw a woman. Oh Wow, a woman…yeah that's really interesting, but this woman resembled Molly Weasley. I am not kidding this woman really was Molly Weasley with cloak and all. Well as one can imagine my mind was spinning with all these random thoughts and I thought hey, I should follow her!

Now don't get me wrong I am not crazy, but my curiosity had been sparked. So I convinced my mother to allow me to walk home. She gave me a very strange look, but consented. So my mother drove off, and I was allowed to follow "Molly Weasley". Well I caught sight of her again and began to follow, making sure that she wouldn't notice me. I mean yeah she is going to have problems if they find out it was her fault that I got into her universe, but she brought it upon herself. Who would go out in broad daylight wearing robes??

Well on with my story, I continued to follow her down the street until she turned into an alley (why is it always an alley?) and there she came at an abrupt stop. I quickly hid myself behind a bunch of trashcans, and kept an eye out to see what she would do next. She pulled out of her robes a wand and she hit the brick wall lightly with it, muttering something that sounded like figs and pigs, but what do I know. Anyways, I felt a slight tremor and all of a sudden I noticed that the bricks were moving out of place. NOW I was absolutely sure this was Molly Weasley. She stepped into it and disappeared. The brick were still open, but they were ever so slowly taking their places back, this was my chance I thought! Life is to short not too jump into swirling voids right? Well anyways, I sucked in my gut and made a run straight into the portal to the unknown.

So I suppose I really wasn't minding my own business when I did this but c'mon life is boring and short, I had to take my chances. It was weird being in there, I felt sick, like my stomach was going to go out through my mouth and I felt at the same time like my body was being stretched. After about a minute of this the sensation went away and I found my self somewhere else.

It was like something out of literally a Harry Potter book. Wizards and witches, goblins and whatever nonsense ever rumored to have existed surrounded me. I couldn't believe it, and they probably couldn't either. I was quite a sight with my disheveled hair, t-shirt, jeans, sandals and cheap 99cents eyeliner. Despite all the looks I got, none said a peep and that's when I realized that hey, this is all real. I was in Hogsmeade. I jumped for joy and began to run around in circles, yelling, " I'm here, I'm here its all real!". I spun around and began to perform my traditional victory dance, but just as I kicked one of my legs, I felt someone grab my hair and pull it back. I yelled out " Ouch! What the crap!!!" I turned around to see who was the offender. It was none other than one livid looking Argus Filch.

I knew it was Argus Filch, because he looked exactly like he should in the book, and not only that but the mangy cat that he clutched near his chest. A dead give away.

" So…you thought you could ditch school eh?" He said grabbing my ear. Me ditch, never. This must be some mistake; I was not of this universe or whatever. I pulled myself from his painful grasp.

" You must have mistaken me, really I am not who you think I am." I sputtered nervously to the angry man.

" What the bloody hell are you talking about?" He said grabbing my arm and pulling me toward a carriage. I myself had to stop. What the bloody hell was I talking about; if I told them whom I was they would send me back immediately and I would not get a chance to explore. So I zipped my lips and allowed him to forcibly push me into the carriage. Filch sneered at me as he got in and opened his mouth to yell at me.

" Do you know how worried your professors were? I swear back in the day, they'd have you whipped raw." Filch continued while I ignored him. I tuned out and looked out of the carriage. It was so beautiful not even the meaningless dribble from the man could ruin it for me. The trees seemed to sparkle, as if they were reflecting the wings of fairies, which they probably were. I sighed and then looked back at Filch, who was oblivious to my obliviousness.

" Have you no shame Mara Sirtis?" He said as a bit of spit fell from his lips to the floor. I distinctly remember feeling nauseas. And then I found out the name of the person I was imitating was Mara Sirtis (what kind of a name is that?). I knew this was going to be one heck of an adjustment. Now I had to pretend to be this person, who no doubt is a delinquent, but what was actually happening to that person right now? She's probably enjoying the fact that she got away from school; I can't stay here too long. I didn't speak; I was going to allow this person to continue vomiting information to me.

" When you get back, Professor Snape will see you in his office, to determine what punishment you will get." He said with a twisted smile on his face. Okay, stop rewind…Snape! My stomach froze at that thought. From what I could infer, Snape was my head of house, which meant I was in Slytherin, which meant, Oh my holy crap I am so screwed! I took a deep breath and allowed it all to sink in for a minute. This was going to be okay, all I have to do is suck up like crazy and beg for forgiveness.

The carriage seemed to go faster as it continued to make its way to Hogwarts. I looked outside and saw how the grand castle contrasted sharply with the darkening sky. I was really going to Hogwarts. Not even the fact that I was going to be yelled at and stuff could stop me from feeling excited. However as I approached castle, it dawned at me, that my parent would at this point be going hysterical because I had not arrived home. I felt extremely guilty, but at the same time I could care less. It is a strange concoction of emotions. The carriage came to an abrupt stop and Filch got out, obviously forgetting ladies first, but then again this person might not be much of a lady herself.

" Quickly Sirtis everyone is bloody angry with you." Filch said placing his cat on the ground. I shuddered, I hated it when people were mad at me, and this time I didn't do anything! I followed the bitter man up the courtyard of the castle, which was spectacular to say the least. Well as we made our way into the castle a very tall old man stopped us it was none other than Dumbledore! Well talk about cool! I nearly jumped, but then I remembered I was supposed to act like I was furious, because they caught me ditching.

" Ah, I see you found Miss. Sirtis, thank you Argus. Mara, would you please follow me." Dumbledore said in that quiet yet powerful voice. I nodded and followed. I looked back at Filch, who was staring daggers at me. I gulped and snapped my head forward. Dumbledore was silent as he led me up to his office. It was just like the book, but ten times better. I was so awestruck, that it took me a while to focus my attention back at Dumbledore. He offered me a seat and then he began to speak.

" What do you do when you have a problem like Mara?" He said in a sing songy voice. I couldn't help but smirk, as the reference was to a movie back in the 1960s. " Mara, we cannot have you running off during class to Hogsmeade. We know not of what could have happened to you. And not to mention the fact that precious hours of your education are being put to waste. Have you anything to say?" I remember I flinched inwardly, what was I to say. Sorry was not sufficient, so I kept my mouth shut. I heard a sigh come from Dumbledore, it almost pained me that I must pay for another's sin and make him mad at me.

" Sorry." I say very quietly and I look down. This was not as fun as I had hoped for it to be. I could feel him smile and nod.

" Well Mara I wouldn't want you to miss dinner. Keep in mind however, your head of house will want a word or two with you." This made my insides flip. Literally. Snape always intimidated me, but he was of course a book character, although now he was real and I would have to face him. I often wondered what I would do if I ever had to face someone like him? Would I cower in fear and let his or her wrath beat me down? Or would I stand up for myself and not allow him or her to belittle me? I honestly didn't know, but I was soon to find out whether I would break down into tears or mouth off to the teacher.

So bravely I went off to the Great Hall, wherever that was? I wondered around everywhere and I swear I was going in circles. However, I soon found a trail of students moving in a single direction and I carefully blended in with them. As I made my way carefully observing them I once again felt someone pull me back. Their hand was rather large compared to mine, but it had a firm grip. I turned around to see who it was and to my disgust and to probably most of the girls their pleasant surprise, Draco Malfoy stood there, waiting for me to do something.

" Excuse me," said I trying to pry my hand from him. " Do I know you?" of course at that moment I didn't know it was Draco, but you know what I mean I had no plans to associate with him, honest. He stood there like a dumb monkey and then he tried to kiss me. I neatly dogged his sloppy motion and elbowed him softly, but enough to rip myself from his grip.

" Try that again turd and you'll find your face so far up your a" I never finished that statement, because just then professor Snape came and grabbed my shoulder and pulled me away.( what is it with everyone grabbing me) I saw Draco give me a face and then he sneered and moved on with his cronies. I heard in the distance, something about me playing hard to get. My attention then came back to a very P.O.ed Snape. I was contemplating whether I should kick him in the shins and run or let him drag me like a limp rag doll. I opted for the dragging; God knows what he would do if I did the latter.

" Miss. Sirtis, I don't know what the hell has gotten into you, but I will not tolerate such misbehavior on the part of my students. And what the hell are you wearing!" Snape said as if his teeth were going to implode from his mouth and impale me in the face. I stood there numbed; I couldn't find breath to draw on to speak. Clearly this Mara chick has done other things to aggravate everyone. And I was in my improper muggle clothes.

" Screw you." I said quietly under my breath. He obviously didn't here me say it while he was yelling crap into my brain. I dared not repeat it again; I looked down not able to look up in fear. This is all Molly Weasley's fault! What was she doing at Vons! I breathed in and decided that the only way out of this is if I faked illness or insanity. I looked up at him and made my eyes go very wide. My bottom lip protruded upward and I deliberately made it so that my eyes watered while he was telling me about yadda yadda yadda, he stopped abruptly and looked down at me.

" What the bloody hell is your problem now!?" He said clearly a little disconcerted because of my face. Clearly no one has ever given him the puppy dog expression. For some reason or other I got the guts and went along with it.

" Oh it's been so hard!" I said, my voice choking up. " You wouldn't understand, just yesterday my…my dog got hit by a bus and my poor granny croaked along with him." I forced myself to cry. It was the hardest thing I have ever done because I was going to start laughing. Snape's face became unreadable; as if someone had slapped him.

" Oh," He said rather awkwardly, " Well that is very sad and all, but it does not excuse your misbehavior." His voice lowering itself a decibel or two. I continued to sob profusely and stuff. " You are free to go Sirtis, but don't do it again or else." I nodded at him as I hiccupped and cried at the same time.

" Thank you Professor…you are a beautiful man." He again gave me that awkward look and then I quickly left. Thank God for _Ferris Bueller's Day Qff._ I quickly joined another group of students headed to the Great Hall grateful that I was able to get out of my situation safely, now perhaps I would be allowed to explore. As I made my way into the Great Hall, my nose was attacked by a lot of really good smelling food.

And wanting to avoid Draco I sat somewhere far away. I bumped into a boy with glasses.

" Harry Potter!!" I yelped. He looked slightly off guard, but he gave me a friendly smile. Everyone near the vicinity of the table looked at me, as if I haven't seen Harry Potter in my entire life, I really hadn't, but apparently Mara has.

" Hi I am Mara!" I said extending my hand towards him. He took it and shook it. I was mad because I couldn't give him my real name, but who cares here I was with Harry Potter.

" Can I sit with you?" I asked, he again looked weirded out but consented to let me sit.

" So what's up?" I said very sure of myself. He said, "Nothing much,"and smiled politely. As I smiled back, another a girl with big frizzy hair, very similar to mine asked me a question that would reveal to me many things about this Mara person.

" Hey you're that Mara Sirtis chick from Slytherin eh?" Hermione said brushing her bushy hair out of her face.

" I am?" I said rather quickly. Hermione cocked an eyebrow at me.

" You are the one dating Draco Malfoy right?" Hermione said eagerly, trying to find out why I had decided to sit with them. Then that is when I nearly vomited, but I kept in my throat.

" Me? Date that?" I said as I snorted with laughter. The others just looked at me in silence, they were too nice to say leave us alone you Slytherin fodder. I however, did not want to leave and sit with Draco, so I quickly apologized for my outburst.

" Why are you dressed like that?" A boy, clearly Ron Weasley, asked me. I looked down at myself and sighed. This was clearly not proper attire for a student. However, I was at loss of word and didn't know what to reply.

" I dunno…" I said weakly and continued to eat. I knew then and there that I had now complicated my life tenfold. What the crap did I or rather Molly Weasley get me into?

End Chapter One

please reveiw....


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